Culture San Franciso Chronicle Writer Begs Greta Gerwig to Not Make an Insurrection Movie; Clearly Hasn’t Seen a Greta Gerwig Film Ever by Mandatory Editors
Fun Meanwhile in Massachusetts: Lawmaker Wants There to Be a State Dinosaur, And the Will of the People Has Been Spoken by Nick Perkins
Fun Daughter Outs Mom For Capitol Riots, And You Thought Last Christmas Was Awkward by Mandatory Editors
Life Hacks The Mandatory Easy-Does-It Guide to Working During Terrorist Attacks From Home During a Global Pandemic by Mandatory Editors
Fun Battle of the Sexes: MAGA Bros Are Using Dating Apps to Brag About Capitol Riot Involvement (And Women Are Turning Them in) by Mandatory Editors
Fun Capitol Rioter ‘QAnon Shaman’ Refuses to Eat Non-Organic Jailhouse Food (Who’s the Special Snowflake Now?) by Mandatory Editors
Fun Capitol Rioter Outed to FBI by Ex-Wife (The Zip Ties Must Have Given Him Away) by Mandatory Editors
Fun Melania Trump Awakes From Living Nightmare to Plead ‘Stop the Violence’ Days After Violence Ended by Mandatory Editors
Fun Capitol Prostester Rubbing Eyes With Onion Is Either a Crybaby or a Resourceful Rioter (You Be the Judge) by Mandatory Editors
Fun Trump Employees ‘Depressed’ That They Can’t Find Jobs After Capitol Riots, Twitter Claps Back by Mandatory Editors
