Fun Meanwhile in Unfortunate Events: British Burglars Get Caught After Butt-Dialing Police, So Close Guys by Mandatory Editors
Fun Meanwhile in Florida: Naked Man Wanted For Vandalizing School in Nothing But Headphones, Suspect Armed With Costly Break Dance by Nick Perkins
Culture Eminem Confronts Intruder in His Detroit Home, Apparently Much Less Intimidating in His Jammies by Nick Perkins
Food & Drink Secret Shopper: Police Arrest Man Thought to Be Hiding in Grocery Store Ceiling Since December by Christopher Osburn
Fun Meanwhile in Florida: Man Wakes Up to Burglar Sucking His Toes, Didn’t Even Get Dinner First by Nick Perkins
Weird News Ohio Man Passes Out In Porn Shop After Breaking Into House And Eating Frosted Flakes by Tommy Gimler
Culture Teamwork Is All About A Sushi Restaurant Staff Attacking Armed Robbers With Knives by Mandatory Editors
