Apple Upgrades iPhones Tricks, Downgrades on Accessories (Earphones and Chargers Magically Disappear)

You know that old saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” Well, apparently Apple has never gotten that memo. Or possibly they have and just choose to ignore it. That can be the only explanation for why this company continues to put out iPhone after iPhone, year after year. That’s what they have done this year with the release of the iPhone 12 — a solid product, but one that is completely unnecessary. It may also serve to piss off more consumers than it actually impresses as well.

While the iPhone 12 does boast an impressive collection of cameras (because one camera on your fucking cell phone just isn’t enough), the packaging itself has done away with both the wired ear pods and the wall-charging brick that usually come with the phone. Now, this may not seem like a big deal to some. We’ve made our peace with the lack of wired earbuds, and you can go to any gas station and find a charging brick. But an upgrade, by definition, shouldn’t be taking away parts of the previous model. Apple says they’re doing it to reducing shipping costs and to lessen the company’s carbon footprint, but come on. We know better. They got rid of those accessories so that we, the consumers, would eventually buy new ones. Whatever.

The good news is that the features the 12 did upgrade are pretty cool. The Face ID (which has become the bane of our existence in 2020, due to face masks) has been upgraded and will, hopefully, take the aforementioned face masks into account from now on. The iPhone 12 also features 5G connectivity, which will be good to have after the 2020 election when war breaks out and we’re trying to contact our loved ones on our way to Canada. It also has a back camera with three, count them three, different lenses. There’s even a night mode option, but that originated with the iPhone 11. The iPhone 12 also includes an App Library, which allows better organization for apps. And Siri no longer takes up the entire screen when you ask her why nobody wants to go on a date with you.

Cool features? Yes. Worth the price of the upgrade? Nah. If you have an iPhone X or better already, stick with that for a few years. We heard the iPhone 14 is supposed to be really cool, so maybe sit tight until 2022. We will say this though — we’re not buying another goddamn iPhone until they go back to including earbuds. And that, our friends, is a promise.

Cover Photo: James D. Morgan (Getty Images)

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