The Jeffrey Toobin Guide to a Completely Normal, Professional Zoom Call

If you didn’t know who Jeffrey Toobin was before this week, you do now. He was an attorney, author, New Yorker columnist, and chief legal analyst for CNN. Now he’s just a creep. He was canceled after being caught masturbating on a Zoom call that involved colleagues from the New Yorker and WNYC radio. The meeting was an election simulation (Toobin was representing the courts) and was apparently an aphrodisiac (or just so boring he needed a release).

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” Toobin told Motherboard. “I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video.”

Let’s pretend we believe that Toobin, who has logged a ton of time in front of cameras on various news networks, doesn’t know how a webcam works. Maybe he was a Zoom newbie. Maybe you are, too. We would hate for you to suffer the same scandalous fate. That’s we’ve compiled a guide to a completely normal, professional Zoom call.

Cover Photo: D Dipasupil / Stringer (Getty Images)

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