Republicans Have More Sex Than Democrats, But It’s an Anti-Climactic Crisis (With Less Than Enough Birth Control)

There’s a lot of politics in sex. And a lot of sex in politics. Now, a new study has found a very *revealing* relationship between the two. SKYN’s 2020 Sex and Intimacy Survey discovered some crucial differences between how Republicans and Democrats do the deed.

Two thousand American adults between the ages of 18 and 39 in the U.S. were asked about their political identities and their private lives. As it turned out, Republicans reported having more sex than Democrats – but the elephant-affiliated party members faked orgasms more often than their donkey-trademarked counterparts. (So more sex, but worse sex? We can totally see that.) Republicans were also more likely to sleep with the friend of an ex out of spite and more likely to sleep with someone twice their age than Democrats. (Color us unsurprised.)

Democrats weren’t all squeaky clean, however. Actually, they were somewhat safer than Republicans. Dems reported using condoms more often than Republicans. (Which figures, we guess, because Republicans are the pro-baby-making party. Like we need more of them in the world.) Dems also indulged in post-coital cuddling more often than Republicans. (Aw.) However, they watched more porn, too.

But just because we’re divided as a country doesn’t mean we can’t find common ground, even in the bedroom. Both parties agreed that doggie style trumps the missionary position. (Sorry if you’re picturing our president having sex now.) And Dems and Republicans are both more likely to use Tinder rather than Hinge to procure their hookups.

What have we learned? That Republicans are dirty dogs (who like to raw dog) and Democrats just want to snuggle you (and maybe sneak in a PornHub sesh after you fall asleep). As titillating as this info is, we beg you to vote not on sex style but on political candidates’ experience, competency, and plans for the future of our country. Sex (and judgment about it) can wait until after your ballot is cast.

Cover Photo: SeventyFour (Getty Images)

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