White House Embracing ‘Herd Immunity’ as COVID-19 Defense, Preparing Solo Cups of Kool-Aid As Well

Remember in third grade when Willie got chickenpox and so then your mom made you go over to Willie’s house so that you would get chickenpox, too, and Thomas and Matt and Kody and Eric were there ’cause their moms wanted them to get chickenpox, too? This was a weird fad in the ‘80s and ‘90s, presumably designed to make sure that kids who were around each other a lot would all get infected at the same time. Well, it was a dumb idea then and it’s a dumb idea now, which is why, unsurprisingly, the White House has adopted it as their defense against COVID-19.

It’s called “herd immunity,” and it revolves around the idea of multiple people getting sick and just, like, dealing with it. Much like chickenpox in third grade, the White House which, by default, means President Trump, believes that the best way to combat COVID-19 is to actually contract COVID-19, thus theoretically leaving people immune. The problem with this, of course, is that you don’t become immune to COVID-19 after contracting COVID-19. Trump himself recently stated that after his own brush with the coronavirus, he was feeling “powerful” and that “they said I’m immune now.” We assume the “they” he is speaking about are the same people who delivered this message on a call convened by the White House on Oct. 4.

According to the New York Times, two senior administration officials from the White House, both speaking anonymously because they weren’t authorized to give their names, cited a petition called The Great Barrington Declaration, which says:

“Current lockdown policies are producing devastating effects on short and long-term public health,” the declaration states, adding, “The most compassionate approach that balances the risks and benefits of reaching herd immunity, is to allow those who are at minimal risk of death to live their lives normally to build up immunity to the virus through natural infection, while better protecting those who are at highest risk. We call this Focused Protection.”

They call it Focused Protection. We call it fucking stupid. But, don’t let us tell you. NBC’s Rachel Maddow breaks it down pretty concisely.

Yes, this is the White House’s official strategy. Yes, it is idiotic. No, it is not going to work. And yes, we are all going to die.

Also, art is dead and nothing matters.

Cover Photo: Mandel Ngan, Getty Images

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