Meanwhile in Florida: President Trump Wants to Kiss Men and Women at His Rally, Working for That Swinger Vote

Why is he like this? Seriously. We can’t even, anymore. Actually, we never could but Donald Trump continues to lose his goddamn mind and we are bearing witness to it. We thought, just for a minute, that contracting COVID-19 might humble President Trump a little bit or, at the very least, cause him to think about the things he says once in a while. Neither happened, and we’re not surprised but we are disappointed.

We’re also disappointed because he clearly hasn’t learned anything about boundaries, with or without COVID guidelines. This became evident at a recent rally in which Trump appeared and said some things that were, well, bizarre to say the least.

Addressing his health, Trump inferred that what didn’t kill him only made him stronger…and weirder.

“The thing with me, the nice part — I went through it and now they say I’m immune. I feel so powerful. I’ll walk into that audience. I’ll walk in there; I’ll kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys, and the beautiful women, and everybody. I’ll just give ya a big, fat kiss.”

So, lots to unpack here. First of all, we’re not 100 percent sure who “they” are, but for the sake of argument, we’ll assume he’s referring to his doctors. And if those doctors are telling Trump that he is now immune from COVID-19, they are either idiots (possible) or they are lying to him (less possible, because of, ya know, malpractice). Or, as is the case with most everything else he says, Trump is simply lying (probable to the point of being guaranteed). Moving on…

Trump also seems to defy social distancing guidelines (and just, like, normal human boundary guidelines) and says that he will walk into his audience and kiss everybody, men and women alike.

And people say Joe Biden is creepy? This is next-level, ‘70s-TV-game-show-host creepy. But Trump is not Richard Dawson. He is the president of the United States and he was somehow able to simultaneously defy doctor suggestions and perv on his demographic. It’s actually pretty impressive. Now, in addition to wanting to kiss all of the “beautiful women,” he also wants to kiss the men too. We know that Trump needs to win over the swing states, but we think he may have misunderstood what, exactly, swing states are.

Cover Photo: Scott Olson, Getty Images

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