Mandatory Funniest Tweets to Wrap the Week of 09-25-2020
Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarity that is still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum. Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry, you poor bastard. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
Garth Brooks supporting Trump is why I've made it my personal mission to make sure that the world never forgets about Chris Gaines.
— 🇯🇲Black🇭🇹 Aziz 🇳🇬aNANsi🇹🇹 (@Freeyourmindkid) September 26, 2020
Fun fact: a blue whale’s anus can stretch to approximately 3 and a half feet, making it the second largest asshole on the planet, just behind Mitch McConnell.
— Angry Staffer (@AngrierWHStaff) September 23, 2020
"Yes, waiter. I'd like to order a glass of Ultimate Warrior 2019 Zinfandel. Much obliged."
*waiter screams non-sensical sayings back at you then snorts a bunch while walking to the kitchen* pic.twitter.com/2VjbmHsKQI
— Ryan Satin (@ryansatin) September 22, 2020
I’m gonna hand out farts for Halloween.
— Dana Whissen (@DanaWhissen) September 22, 2020
Yo' momma's so broke she started blaming immigrants for her own failures.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) September 24, 2020
I just saw this. And then saw it 25 more times in a row. https://t.co/dtEGhcEnyM
— Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) September 24, 2020
today I turned the same age Wilford Brimley was when he made Cocoon and the same age John Wayne was when he played Genghis Khan pic.twitter.com/MbjnG9E7uO
— Matt 🎃swalt (@MattOswaltVA) September 26, 2020
I don’t use this verbiage often but this is a whole vibe. simple as that pic.twitter.com/NfdLsgLkxu
— DrewFrog (@DrewFrogger) September 25, 2020
I like authentic pizza, the kind where you pull a slice and all the topping fall off leaving you with a floppy piece of hot bread
— Zoltan Kaszas (@ZoltanCOMEDY) September 26, 2020
There’s something sinister about high school sweethearts
— Lureena Cornwell (@makesgoodsoup) September 26, 2020
Everyone’s like “Listen to your heart!!” and “Trust yourself!!” and I’m like um I bought a car that will literally slam the brakes for me when I don’t.
— Taylor Tomlinson (@taylortomlinson) September 22, 2020
Women want a man who's successful, men want a woman who gets movie references.
— mark normand (@marknorm) September 21, 2020
Wearing a mask while buying condoms feels extra responsible.
— mark normand (@marknorm) September 22, 2020
Is that a 3D printer, or are you just happy to see me?
— Patrick Aiken (@laughmissile) September 22, 2020
I’ll never understand how waffles lost the war to pancakes
— Garaji P. Henson (@thegissilent) September 21, 2020
The best of both worlds: Funny Gaming Memes of the Week
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