Dumbass Meth Dealer Arrested After Crashing Into Cop Cars In Easiest Drug Bust Ever

Pro tip: If you’re transporting 600 pounds of crystal meth in your vehicle, drive safely. Seems commonsensical enough, but this didn’t occur to 28-year-old Australian idiot Simon Tu. He was behind the wheel of a Toyota HiAce packed with $145 million in drugs when he rammed his van into not one but two cop cars.

Tu tried to flee, but the cops caught him an hour later – and uncovered cardboard box after cardboard box filled to the brim with methamphetamines in his van.

“This would be one of the easiest drugs busts that NSW Police has ever made — incredible, absolutely incredible,” Detective Glyn Baker of the Ryde Police said after the accident.

The previously convicted drug courier has been sentenced to six years in prison for his latest crime. Even Tu’s lawyer seemed baffled by his client’s incompetence, describing Tu’s behavior as “negligent and shambolic.” (Which doesn’t really make sense, but sure is original.)

“His driving is what gave it all away, and his role was to drive, so that in some sense it was a hopeless execution of the task he was asked to perform,” the attorney said.

So far, Tu hasn’t ‘fessed up to where the drugs came from or where they were going. Something tells us he might be getting high off his own supply and probably doesn’t remember anyway.

Cover Photo: New South Wales Police

Personality decoder: What Your Favorite Social Media Platform Says About You


Not-so-secret: 10 Ways to Tell One of Your Friends Has Coronavirus (But Isn’t Telling You)

Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.