Meanwhile in Florida, Couple Attempts to Have Sex in Cop Car (Has Right to Remain Stupid)

It’s not so much what they did, but how they did it that perplexes. A couple in Florida was recently arrested for DUI after riding their bicycles without lights and almost being struck by a vehicle. Both suspects were said to have smelled like alcohol and had bloodshot, watery eyes. After failing a handful of sobriety tests and declining to take any others, both suspects were placed under arrest and were escorted into the back of a police car, presumably to take them to jail. While the officers did their paperwork (or grabbed a Cubano or something), the man and the woman proceeded to make sweet, passionate love. In the back of the car — while handcuffed.

Now, a few questions must be asked. One: how did they remove clothing while handcuffed? Two: how was there enough room to even accommodate such an act? Three: What were the cops doing during all of this? Four: was there any foreplay involved? Five (and most importantly): why does this stuff always seem to happen in Florida? In addition to the aforementioned DUI, the couple was also charged with exposing their sex organs, committing an unnatural and lascivious act, and resisting arrest without violence. That last charge came after the officer removed the man from the car-cum-love-shack, and the man knocked a deputy to the ground and fled the scene before eventually being caught outside of a Coldstone Creamery and re-arrested. Listen, we’re not one to judge others’ job performance, but the real dope in all of this has to be the arresting officers, right? Oh well. In the end, love will always find a way.

Cover Photo: Pixelchrome, Inc. (Getty Images)

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