C’mon, Guys: Dude Steals Date’s Car To Take Her Godsister To The Movies

At the Drive-in Movie. Photo: Jewelsy (Getty)

There are bad dates, and then there’s whatever you would call this.

According to ABC 13, a Memphis woman recently had what was easily the worst date of her life when the dude she picked up in her Volvo stole her car and used it to pick up her godsister for a seperate date at a drive-in movie theater.

You see, kids, Kelton Griffin doesn’t own a car. That would make it rather difficult to take a potential hookup to a drive-in movie theater. Instead of calling up one of his boys at Avis or Enterprise, Griffin got his hands on some wheels by hitting up an old high school friend and asking her to pick him up so he could take her out to dinner.

Faith Pugh said Griffin asked her to pull her Volvo into a gas station and go inside for a cigar. You know, because all great dates start out by asking the woman who picked your ass up in her car to go inside and get you a dog turd. Anyway, when Pugh came back, both Griffin and her Volvo were gone. She then called her mother to come pick her up.

Still not the weirdest thing stolen in the last month or so: Artist Threatens Elon Musk With Lawsuit After Stealing ‘Farting Unicorn’

They were able to track the car using GPS. When they found it, not only was Griffin at the drive-in theater, but in the middle of another date with Pugh’s godsister (of all people). Griffin never got a chance to see how the movie ended, though, because police were called to the scene. They arrested him on the spot. It turned out he didn’t have any money on him, either. Pugh’s godsister had paid for both of them to get into the flick.

So if you’re keeping score at home, that’s no car, no money, but two dates in the same night with two girls in the same family. Our guess is that’s enough to wrap up the award for “Smoothest Felon in Memphis.”