Fun Police Chief Shocked to Find ‘Pig’ Written on His Starbucks Cup, His Daughter Not Shocked in the Least by Nick Perkins
Fun White Castle Issues Recall of Frozen Sliders Over Possible Listeria Contamination, We’ll Take Our Chances by Christopher Osburn
Fun Woman Rescued After 8 Days in Bathtub, Expected to Join the California Raisins Next Summer on Tour by Nick Perkins
Fun Plot Twist: Bank Teller Robs Customer After Large Cash Withdrawal, Steals Their Free Sucker, Too by Ken Franklin
Fun Meanwhile in Florida: Overly-Eager Holiday Lover Sits Atop Family’s Roof in Nothing But Underwear, Christmas Drills in Progress by Nick Perkins
Fun Company Hiring People to Smoke Pot For $3,000 and All the Cool Ranch Doritos You Can Eat (‘Weed’ Do It For Free) by Nick Perkins
Fun Grounded: Researcher’s Eagle Racks Up Huge Phone Bills From Roaming Fees, Can’t Explain Itself by Ken Franklin
Fun Man Eats $120K Banana at Art Basel, Proving That Some Art Is as Delicious as It Is Dumb by Christopher Osburn
Fun 5-Year-Old Ready to Party Brings Cocaine to School, DARE Program to Reevaluate Entire Strategy by Ken Franklin
Fun Petition to Rename Fire Ants to ‘Spicy Boys’ Gathers Steam, ‘Picante’ Rejected For Being Too Clever by Nick Perkins
Fun Andrew Yang Goes Rogue on the Campaign Trail, Starts Giving Whipped Cream Facials to Supporters by Matt Branham
Fun Meanwhile In Florida: Dog Hijacks Car and Does Donuts For Over an Hour (Another Holiday Miracle!) by Ken Franklin
Fun Holy Guacamole! Taco Saves Arizona Man’s Life in Shooting, Of Course Ate It Anyway by Nick Perkins
